In a world that never stops moving, it can feel like we’re supposed to be “on” all the time. Activities, commitments, lessons, sports, meetings, appointments, it’s easy to get caught up in the rush. And if you’re a parent, you’ve probably felt the pressure to keep your kids busy, too. After all, isn’t that how we keep them “on track,” “well-rounded,” and “stimulated”?
I truly don’t believe that being busy is the same as being fulfilled. And doing everything can actually keep us from enjoying anything. Finding the right balance between scheduled activities and unstructured free time is essential for well-being, growth, and happiness. So, let’s have a conversation about how we can strike that balance for ourselves and for our families.
The Busyness Trap
It starts innocently enough. A soccer game here, a dance class there. Maybe a volunteer project, a second language lesson, a weekend event. These are all great things, right?
Of course they are - enrichment activities help build skills, discipline, friendships, and confidence. But when schedules become too jam-packed, even the best things start to feel like chores. Nobody likes chores! We get tired. Our kids get cranky. We stop looking forward to the things we used to love. And there lies the trap: we become so focused on doing that we forget how just to be.
Busyness can become a status symbol in our culture, a marker of productivity or even worth. But this mindset can be harmful, especially for kids, who need space to grow emotionally, socially, and imaginatively. Over-scheduling can lead to burnout, anxiety, and a lack of intrinsic motivation. We want our kids to explore the world, not just run laps around it.
Why Free Time Matters
Unstructured time, aka doing “nothing”, is not wasted time. In fact, it’s where some of the most important developmental magic happens, especially for children.
Free time fosters:
• Creativity: Kids invent games, build stories, and think outside the box.
• Emotional processing: A quiet afternoon gives space to reflect on feelings and experiences.
• Autonomy: Choosing how to spend time builds independence and decision-making skills.
• Rest and reset: Downtime helps regulate the nervous system, reducing stress and irritability.
• Boredom tolerance: Yes, boredom is a skill! It’s what often sparks curiosity and innovation.
Free time is not just for kids; adults need this too. When we take time to rest, reflect, or just be, we come back to our tasks with more energy, clarity, and perspective.
Signs You Might Be Out of Balance
How do you know if your family is overbooked or under-stimulated? Here are a few red flags:
• Constant fatigue or crankiness
• Anxiety or resistance about scheduled activities
• Difficulty sleeping or winding down
• Lack of motivation or joy in things that used to be fun
• Little or no time for spontaneous play or rest
• Every weekend or evening is booked solid
On the flip side, too much unstructured time can lead to lethargy, irritability, or boredom that doesn’t lead to creative problem-solving (especially if screens are filling all the gaps). That’s why the goal is to find balance.
Tips for Finding the Sweet Spot
Ready to reassess your rhythm? Here are some tips for creating a more balanced, sustainable schedule.
1. Take Inventory
Write out everything on your plate - yours and your child’s. Include work, school, extracurriculars, social events, chores, even commute times. Seeing it all on paper can be eye-opening. Then ask: Which activities energize us? Which feel draining? What’s adding value and what’s just adding stress?
2. Prioritize Purpose Over Pressure
Choose activities that align with your values and your child’s interests, not just what looks good on paper. Is soccer truly lighting them up? Great! Keep it. But if it’s a weekly battle just to get shoes on, it might be time to pause.
3. Schedule Downtime Like It Matters (Because It Does)
Treat free time as a legitimate, non-negotiable part of your weekly routine. That might mean blocking out “nothing” on a Saturday morning or leaving one weeknight open. Protect that space.
4. Let Boredom Happen
It’s OK for your child to be bored. Resist the urge to fill every quiet moment. Instead, offer open-ended materials (paper, blocks, costumes, sticks, etc.) and let them take the lead. You might be amazed by what they create.
5. Model Balance
Show your kids that you value rest and play for yourself, too. Take a walk without your phone. Read for pleasure. Say no to an extra meeting so you can be present at dinner. They’re watching and learning.
6. Check In Regularly
Seasons of life change. What worked last year might not work this fall. Make it a habit to check in with your family—how are we doing? What feels good, and what feels like too much? Adjust accordingly.
What Balance Looks Like
There’s no perfect formula, but here’s an example of a balanced week for a school-age child:
• School: Monday–Friday
• One or two extracurriculars: Maybe soccer on Tuesday and piano on Thursday
• Playdates or family time: Friday after school or Sunday afternoons
• Chores and responsibilities: Built into daily routines
• Free time: At least 30–60 minutes after school and unstructured weekend time
• Tech time: Limited and mindful, with plenty of screen-free breaks
• Sleep: Prioritized above all else
Keep in mind that every family is different. Your balance might look more like three activities or only one. Some kids thrive on a full calendar; others need more open space. The key is tuning in to the people and making adjustments as needed.
When schedules are manageable, activities can be enjoyable. When there’s space to slow down, rest becomes part of the routine—not something we have to earn. And when there’s room for unstructured time, both kids and adults have a better chance to reset and stay grounded.
It’s okay to take something off the calendar. It’s okay to have a quiet afternoon. Those moments matter, too.
Sometimes, doing a little less helps everyone feel a lot better.
Quick Read:
Finding Balance Between Activities & Free Time
1. Busy isn’t always better. Constant activities can lead to burnout—for kids and adults.
2. Free time matters. It supports creativity, emotional regulation, and rest.
3. Not everything needs to be scheduled. Boredom can be healthy and even productive.
4. Protect downtime. Leave space in your week for flexibility and breathing room.
5. Check in often. If something’s consistently stressful, it might be time to scale back.
Feeling like your schedule runs you? A little less structure can make a big difference—for you and your kids. Check out our blog post for a reminder that free time isn’t wasted time.
About the Author:
Paige Whitley is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in Florida. With over 3 years of dedicated experience, Paige has become a trusted ally for diverse populations, including the neurodivergent community, trauma survivors, substance abuse sufferers, and those navigating general mental health challenges. Since 2010, Paige has impacted young lives through her work as a lifeguard, swim teacher, behavior technician, nanny, and counselor. When not at work, she indulges in the magic of Disney Parks, enticing culinary adventures, and family time with her husband, fur babies, and baby Whitley. Passionate and empathetic, she's a catalyst for positive change, committed to making a difference in her community's mental health landscape.
