Let’s be honest: life gets busy, and sometimes the people we care about the most live far away. Between work, school, and daily responsibilities, it can feel impossible to maintain the kind of connection that makes relationships feel warm and meaningful.
As a therapist, I hear about this struggle a lot. Many of the people I work with share that their closest friends or family live far away, and it leaves them feeling lonely or disconnected. This is such a common challenge—and one that can quietly take a toll on emotional well-being. That’s why nurturing these bonds, even across miles, is so important. Relationships are a critical part of our emotional well-being, and feeling connected—even virtually—has been shown to reduce stress, improve mood, and provide a sense of belonging.
So, how do we maintain these important connections when we can’t just pop over for coffee or swing by for a hug? The keys are intentionality and creativity. Here are some ideas that I recommend to families, friends, and clients alike to keep relationships strong, even when you’re separated by miles.
1. Schedule Regular Video Hangouts
Video calls have become the modern-day equivalent of sitting on the couch together, and they’re more impactful than we often give them credit for. Instead of just checking in, try adding an activity to make the time feel more intentional. Here are a few ideas:
• FaceTime playdates: If you have kids, set up regular virtual playdates. Kids can build Legos together while chatting, do a craft project at the same time, or even play simple games like stacking animal figurines (who can build the biggest stack), “I Spy” or scavenger hunts over video. This not only keeps the kids engaged but also creates shared experiences that foster closeness.
• Cook together: Pick a recipe, set a time, and cook “together” while on a video call. You can share tips, laugh over mistakes, and enjoy a meal together virtually. This is especially great for families who can’t gather in the same kitchen but want to keep culinary traditions alive.
• Game nights: Many online games now allow for real-time multiplayer fun. From casual mobile games to online Scrabble or Mario Kart, playing together is a great way to bond and create fun memories.
The beauty of these activities is that they don’t just keep you in touch—they provide a sense of normalcy and shared experience, which is critical for maintaining emotional closeness.
2. Send Letters or Care Packages
There’s something timeless and meaningful about receiving something physical from someone you love. Letters, postcards, and small care packages can have an outsized impact on connection, even in today’s digital world.
• Letters and emails: Go old school with handwritten letters or try modern “story letters,” where you take turns continuing a story or sharing updates in a playful, narrative way. This keeps communication dynamic and fun, rather than just a list of what’s going on in your life.
• Monthly or quarterly packages: You don’t have to go overboard. A small box with snacks, a favorite book, or a little craft (like Eugy) can make someone feel remembered and loved. Bonus points if you include something interactive, like a trivia game, scavenger hunt, or puzzle challenge, you can do together on your next video call.
• Photo exchanges: Through mail, shared online album, text, or email, sharing photos of your everyday life helps maintain a sense of presence. It’s a way of saying, “I wish you were here to see this,” which can feel surprisingly intimate.
Receiving something tangible reminds people that they are seen and valued. It also gives them something to hold onto when the distance feels difficult.
3. Share Stories, Books, or Media
Shared experiences are powerful, even when they happen apart. Here are a few ways to make this work:
• Phone story time: Reading a book together over the phone or video call can be a wonderful ritual for families with young children. Even older kids or adult friends can enjoy this - think chapters of a novel read aloud to each other, or podcasts and articles discussed together. For younger kids, you can send figurines as characters to play with during the story.
• Virtual book clubs, jam sessions, or movie nights: Pick a book, music (bonus if you have a dance party), or a movie to enjoy, then set a time to read, watch, jam, or just discuss it together. This not only keeps conversations flowing but also creates a shared cultural touchstone.
• Puppet Play - Over a call, each child (or adult!) grabs a puppet and creates a voice for it. Use them to tell jokes, share stories, or even act out a quick play together. This kind of imaginative silliness builds connection while encouraging creativity and expression.
These practices are especially meaningful because they promote reflection, dialogue, and emotional connection. They give you common ground and create memories that you can refer back to, even after the activity is over.
4. Make It Routine, But Keep It Flexible
One of the challenges of long-distance relationships is staying consistent without making it feel like a chore. Setting a schedule can help:
• Decide on a weekly video call, monthly package delivery, or quarterly catch-up email.
• Use shared calendars or reminders to keep everyone accountable.
However, flexibility is key. Life gets busy, and it’s okay to reschedule or change the format. Even a short, spontaneous check-in can be meaningful if it’s done with presence and intention.
5. Celebrate Life’s Moments Together
Life isn’t just about the big milestones—it’s about the small, everyday moments too. Send a quick text, a funny meme, or a small gift to mark:
• Birthdays or anniversaries
• Promotions or achievements
• Even small wins, like finishing a tough project or learning something new
Acknowledging life events—even virtually—helps maintain emotional intimacy. It says, “I’m thinking of you, and I’m here for your joys and struggles alike.”
6. Leverage Technology Thoughtfully
It’s easy to assume that technology is a substitute for real connection, but when used thoughtfully, it can actually enhance relationships. Here’s how:
• Collaborative tools: Google Docs, shared Pinterest boards, or apps like Trello can let you plan activities, share recipes, or collaborate on projects together.
• Shared media: Spotify playlists, TikTok duets, Pinterest boards, Goodreads lists, or Instagram stories can be ways of communicating and sharing your life beyond words.
Remember, technology is a tool, not a replacement for connection. Use it to create shared experiences, not just to “check in.”
7. Emotional Check-Ins Matter
Finally, it’s important to intentionally check in on emotions, not just logistics. Long-distance communication can easily become transactional—“How are the kids?” “How’s work?”—without ever really addressing feelings.
• Ask open-ended questions: “How have you been feeling this week?” “What’s been bringing you joy lately?” Using games that are conversation starters, like Let's Talk Cubes, can be a helpful way to get things moving.
• Share honestly about your own experiences, struggles, and wins. Vulnerability fosters intimacy, even from afar.
• Celebrate together, empathize with challenges, and offer encouragement—it goes a long way in maintaining a meaningful connection.
Maintaining long-distance relationships requires intentionality, creativity, and emotional presence. Handwritten letters, virtual game nights, and shared recipes all show how small gestures can make your long-distance relationships feel close, meaningful, and full of love. The key is consistency, shared experiences, and attention to emotional connection—not just surface-level check-ins.
Even when you’re miles apart, it’s very possible to maintain closeness, laughter, and love. Distance doesn’t have to mean disconnection. With a little planning and creativity, you can nurture relationships that feel warm, supportive, and fulfilling—no matter how far away your loved ones are.
Quick Read Version:
Long-distance relationships don’t have to feel distant! Many people struggle with loneliness because the people they’re closest to live far away. Here are some ways to bridge the gap:
• FaceTime playdates or video hangouts – build Legos, cook together, or play online games
• Letters, story emails, or care packages – small gestures make a big impact
• Photo exchanges – share everyday moments and memories
• Virtual book club or movie nights – create shared experiences even apart
• Emotional check-ins – ask about feelings, celebrate wins, and offer support
About the Author:
Paige Whitley is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in Florida. With over 3 years of dedicated experience, Paige has become a trusted ally for diverse populations, including the neurodivergent community, trauma survivors, substance abuse sufferers, and those navigating general mental health challenges. Since 2010, Paige has impacted young lives through her work as a lifeguard, swim teacher, behavior technician, nanny, and counselor. When not at work, she indulges in the magic of Disney Parks, enticing culinary adventures, and family time with her husband, fur babies, and baby Whitley. Passionate and empathetic, she's a catalyst for positive change, committed to making a difference in her community's mental health landscape.
References
Holt-Lunstad J. (2024). Social connection as a critical factor for mental and physical health: evidence, trends, challenges, and future implications. World psychiatry : Official journal of the World Psychiatric Association (WPA), 23(3), 312–332. https://doi.org/10.1002/wps.21224