Homework can often feel like a nightly obstacle course, draining energy from both kids and parents alike.
Some children breeze through it, while others avoid it at all costs, and then some get so caught up in doing it “perfectly” that the entire evening disappears.
As both a parent and a former teacher, I’ve experienced these challenges firsthand in my own home and watched many family members and friends navigate similar struggles. From children with ADHD, who face after-school collapse, to kids who would much rather be building with Legos or playing outside than practicing sight words, and friends dealing with everything from perfectionist tears to outright homework refusal, I’ve seen it all.
The silver lining? With the right strategies, homework time can shift from a nightly battle to a manageable routine that fosters learning, executive functioning skills, independence, and keeps the peace at home.
Tip 1: Create a Transition Routine
Kids don’t walk through the door ready to learn again. They need a buffer.
When my son tried to jump into homework right after school, it was a disaster. His brain was fried. What finally worked was a “transition break”: time for snack, movement, and a little downtime. After that, his energy and focus returned enough to actually get through assignments.
How to try this at home:
- Snack + hydration: A protein-rich snack (cheese stick, yogurt, apple slices with peanut butter) fuels their brain.
- Movement break: Ride a bike, shoot hoops, dance it out, or anything to get the wiggles out.
- Calm moment: Read quietly, doodle, or listen to music.
Script you can use:
“I know your brain is tired. Let’s do a snack and a break, then we’ll tackle homework together.”
Why it works: Children’s brains need decompression time. A structured transition lowers resistance and helps avoid fights later.
Tip 2: Set Time Limits
Perfectionism can turn 15 minutes of math into two grueling hours. My friend’s daughter once erased and rewrote an entire worksheet three times. A timer and reflection were her lifesavers. They set time chunks and goals. She tried to get a certain amount of the homework done within a set amount of time. She and her parents also walked through examples of what types of corrections were necessary and which could be overlooked. It helped her learn that homework didn’t need to be perfect - just done.
How to try this at home:
- Use a visual timer kids can see (sand timer, Time Timer, or kitchen timer).
- Frame it as a “focus sprint”: “Let’s work hard for 15 minutes and then take a break.”
- Teach “good enough is good enough.” For younger kids, celebrate effort more than accuracy: “I love how you stuck with it!”
Pro tip: Build in “stop times.” If a child spends 20 minutes on one problem, have them mark it and move on. You can revisit tough spots later or email the teacher if it’s consistently overwhelming.
Tip 3: Make It Playful for Younger Kids
Younger kids often see homework as an enemy of play. So…turn homework into play.
One mom I worked with acted out Five Little Speckled Frogs with toy frogs to practice counting. Both of my boys loved turning spelling, sight word practice, multiplication facts, etc, into hopscotch (for example, jumping to each letter as they spelled words), shooting a Nerf gun at cups with sight words that they would read correctly, rollerblading over math facts written in chalk as problems were solved out loud, etc.
How to try this at home:
- Act out rhymes and poems with figurines or stuffed animals. (Baa Baa Black Sheep becomes counting sheep and dividing “wool” made of cotton balls.)
- Turn math into snack games - “You have 10 pretzels, if I eat 3, how many are left?”
- Create letter, sight word, or math facts scavenger hunts around the house.
- Practice letters, spelling, and math by painting them with water on the driveway.
Pro tip: Keep sessions short, 10–15 minutes max. Little brains learn better with multisensory activities.
Tip 4: Build a Homework-Friendly Environment
Homework location matters more than parents think. Some kids need quiet corners, while others focus better with family nearby.
How to try this at home:
- Create a “homework caddy” with pencils, crayons, scissors, sticky notes, so time isn’t wasted searching for supplies.
- Experiment: kitchen table with a parent nearby, or a quiet desk in their room.
- Background: Some kids focus with soft instrumental music, others need silence. Test what works.
Script you can use:
“Do you want to work here at the table, on the porch, or in your reading corner? Let’s try one and see.”
Why it works: Predictable spaces cue the brain that “it’s time to focus.”
Tip 5: Teach Independence, Not Just Compliance
Homework isn’t about grinding through worksheets; it’s about learning how to manage tasks, time, and responsibility. As kids grow, the goal is to own their learning, not rely on parents to micromanage.
How to try this at home:
- Give choices: “Do you want to start with math or reading?”
- Have them keep a homework agenda and get consistent with writing down their assignments and tests and checking it nightly. If they have Google Classroom, help them get in the habit of regularly checking on upcoming assignments.
- Encourage checklists: simple to-do lists that they can cross off.
- Show how to break down bigger projects: “Today we research, tomorrow we write, then we revise.”
- Help them set up an organized and stocked school supply box.
Pro tip: Celebrate small wins. Instead of “Great, you finished,” say, “I love how you stayed focused for 10 minutes straight!”
Supporting Kids with Executive Function Challenges
For kids with ADHD, autism, or other executive functioning difficulties, homework isn’t just hard, it can feel impossible. They often know what to do, but can’t organize themselves to do it.
Strategies that help:
- Chunk it: Instead of “do your math,” try “do the first 3 problems.”
- Visual checklists: Step-by-step reminders kids can check off.
- Timed breaks: 10–15 minute sprints, then movement or sensory breaks.
- External aids: Sticky notes, phone reminders, or even a study buddy (even if it’s just a stuffed animal) they “teach” the material to.
Teacher perspective: These kids aren’t lazy or defiant; they need structure and scaffolding until these skills develop. Patience + consistency = progress.
When Homework Feels Overwhelming: How to Talk to Your Child’s Teacher
Even the best routines and tips won’t solve the problem if the homework itself is the issue. Sometimes, the amount or type of homework given is simply too much for a child’s age, development, or unique learning needs. If you find your child spending hours every night in tears or constantly dreading homework, it’s worth bringing it up with the teacher.
1. Start with Curiosity, Not Combat
Teachers have good intentions with homework; it’s meant to reinforce learning, not create battles at home. Approach the conversation with collaboration and a reasonable solution as the goal:
- “How much time do you expect typical assignments to take?” and then move on to “Here is what we are experiencing at our house, which is causing xyz issues.”
- “Help me understand what the goal behind this homework is and if it can maybe be achieved differently.”
This keeps the discussion collaborative rather than confrontational.
2. Share What You See at Home
You are the expert on your child after 3 p.m. If your 3rd grader is spending two hours laboring over a worksheet, or your high schooler is still up at 11 p.m., the teacher needs to know. Provide specific examples:
- “I just wanted to reach out and let you know that the math packet took my child 90 minutes last night.”
- “My child became so frustrated that they shut down after 20 minutes.”
Concrete details help teachers get the full picture and serve as an entry point for adjusting expectations if needed.
3. Suggest Reasonable Adjustments
Many schools offer flexibility, which may involve reducing the number of problems, modifying assignments, or giving more time in class to finish work. Frame it as a shared goal: “How can we make sure my child is learning without burning out?”
Finding Balance in the Homework Journey
Some nights homework goes smoothly, and other nights it feels like a battle. Maybe your child needs downtime before starting, maybe they get stuck in perfectionism, or maybe they just want to play. These struggles are common, and they remind us that homework is about more than academics. It is also about building resilience, time management, and confidence.
With consistent routines, empathy, and creative strategies, homework can feel less overwhelming. It is also important to remember that sometimes the issue is not the child or the routine, but the amount of homework itself. Research shows that too much homework, especially in younger grades, can be counterproductive. If you feel your child is overloaded, talk to the teacher. Share what you see at home, ask questions, and work together to find a balance.
In the end, the goal is not perfect worksheets. It is raising curious, confident learners who can problem solve and enjoy the process of discovery. When homework supports that, it has value. When it does not, it is okay to pause, adjust, and advocate for a healthier balance.
About the Author
Anji Audley is a former teacher and tutor with experience spanning preschool through middle school, bringing a deep understanding of child development and the power of playful, hands-on learning. As a mother of two boys, an artist, a nature lover, and a passionate advocate for learning through play, she thrives on blending creativity, nature, and fun to spark engagement and curiosity in young minds.
With a fondness for both science and ELA, Anji believes in the power of using integrated, multi-sensory learning to create meaningful and accessible educational experiences. She advocates for learning that is engaging, immersive, and filled with wonder.
You can often find her hanging with her family and dog, exploring nature, diving into good books, painting, creating, and continuously searching for new ways to educate the whole child.
