Do Dragons Eat Pumpkins?
Every year as the leaves begin to change, humans come out of their houses to begin one of their most unusual — and eagerly anticipated —rituals of all.
Out on their lawns, giant spiders (that for unknown reasons aren’t alive), skeletons and lights become more and more common, among other things, that are sometimes so macabre that they even give young dragons a fright.
All dragons watch with great interest from above, but wait for the timing to be just right.
They all know just what they’re waiting for, the one thing they have been waiting all year for.
And then out they come: big, round, tall, small, orange and yellow pumpkins carved with fantastical faces and lit with bright, flickering lights. The dragons nearly shriek, as they can hardly resist.
Everything about pumpkins reminds dragons of themselves — the color matches their fire, the frightening faces almost always seem to them to be a poor imitation of their own heads and ferocious teeth, and pumpkins come in all shapes and sizes, just like dragons do. To dragons, they are the perfect fruit.
They watch as small humans come out of their houses dressed in odd, ill-fitting outfits and go from door to door asking for treats.
The dragons haven’t figured out what the humans do after they collect them, perhaps saving them as treasure troves.
What they do know is that this event is clearly an offering and celebration of dragons and dragonkind.
“Humans didn’t always do this,” some of the older dragons say. They claim it’s a more recent event that older generations never experienced. Others say that humans have done things like this for a very long time because they so desperately want to connect with the dragons, who are so obviously superior to them. So, they create offerings and established these rituals to mimic dragon behavior.
“Just because it’s changed forms doesn’t mean it isn’t the same celebration. After all,” they say, “Humans are moderately intelligent. They could change their customs.”
To honor their hosts and be polite, the dragons wait until the younglings retreat to the indoors and then swoop down in hoards to taste the sweet treat of gooey, days-old pumpkin.
A group of immature dragons are the first to start — sneaking onto human porches and taking bites here and there but leaving pieces as if to say, “Your offering is welcome.”
Among the older dragons, however, it is far more common to simply take the whole of the pumpkin back to their lair and allow their hatchlings to chew on the tough skin —a newborn dragon’s teeth can cut through almost anything. And their hatchlings can gaze up at their parents in awe. When I’m older, they think, I’ll go out and see the human celebration, too. Maybe I’ll even get my own pumpkin!
So don’t be alarmed if your jack o’ lantern turns up partially ruined or missing.
It’s possible that a squirrel might have nibbled, but far more likely that a dragon noticed your offering and was grateful for the snack.